The Escape Journals

Traveling With Your Partner

Sharing the road with someone you love: the compromises, the arguments, and the moments that made them closer.

Featured Stories

Met in a Hostel, Closer Than Ever

Maguie

I met my boyfriend in a hostel, and we started traveling together in a car in New Zealand just three weeks later. To be honest, it was tough at first. But since we met each other while already traveling, it was the only reasonable thing to do. We grew strong together in just a few months. Now, almost two years later, we’ve faced so many hardships, but it’s all been worth it. We see each other every day, and I’ve never been as close to anyone. We fight a lot, but as I said, we spent almost 24/7 together when going on road trips.

If you start a real relationship while traveling, try to be honest with yourself and with the other person. Figure out what you want and talk about it. It’s hard, so keep that in mind! You’ll definitely notice all the little things. It’s full-on from day one and totally different from having a “normal” relationship where you take it slow, maybe see each other two or three times a week, and have the rest of the time to yourself.

No Feeling Is Final

Josh

Since I knew I wanted to travel, I always kept my heart and feelings on a leash. I didn’t want to get too close to people, and funnily enough, telling girls that I intended to go away for a year seemed to put them off. No idea why that is, haha. But I knew that if I found someone, my plans could change. I decided to stay resolute in my decision to travel, and past girlfriends didn’t like that I wasn’t willing to change plans that had been in the making for years for them. I do understand that people think you’d change for the right person. So, either I’m broken in some way, or I just haven’t found the right one yet. Traveling without a partner is like a solo venture, though. Try your best not to be scared of change—let it take you to new places.

“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

Living Together From Day One

Lauren

I was actually lucky enough to meet my partner while I was traveling. Since we’re both travelers, we share a sense of adventure and understand each other’s life decisions in a way most people back home wouldn’t. After we officially started dating, we began traveling and making moves together. Being limited to hostels for the majority of our travels essentially meant “living together” from the start of our relationship.

Spending 24/7 with someone is definitely a lot. We’ve gotten to know all the little quirks and habits of each other—living habits, thought patterns, and preferences. All in all, the experience has brought us much closer and given us a solid foundation to build our relationship on. Traveling together means making decisions together and working as a team. It means compromising and communicating.

There are a couple of cons for sure, though I haven’t found many. One con for me is that I’ve found it harder to keep in touch with friends and make new friendships when traveling in a relationship because I tend to spend most of my time with my partner (which makes me feel like I don’t need to reach out and socialize as much). Another con would be a slight reduction in the amount of freedom I feel when it comes to decision-making. I now not only have myself to think about but also someone else, which adds another layer to the process.

All in all, though, it’s been an amazing experience, and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to share so many memories and experiences with my partner. I think traveling has made us a stronger couple, and I’m so thankful for that!

How You Cope Under Pressure

Kel

To be completely honest, traveling with your partner (at least for me) has been hard! It’s not easy, especially when you throw family (a GIGANTIC family) into the mix. You’ll need to learn how to prioritize time for yourself, find personal space, and make time for “you time.” You’ll really need to amp up the communication, because while travel can be incredibly rewarding, working out the logistics, planning on the go, and even just getting from one destination to another can be tiring and frustrating. When you’re in close quarters with the one you love and haven’t had any space to yourself, both of you can get reactive. It’s so important to have clear communication, the freedom to have days or even just a few hours to yourself, to enjoy your own experience, or just take a break from traveling to read a book or watch a movie.

As everyone has told me and as I’ve learned firsthand, traveling with your partner will teach you so much about them that you weren’t aware of before—especially if you’re traveling to their hometown, city, or country, and particularly if you’re traveling with them and their family or friends.

I would just say, be open, honest, communicative, open-minded, and flexible. Treat the trip together as an amazing opportunity to explore the world, but also as a chance to see how you both cope and behave under pressure.

The Flight I Missed

Krista

Fortunately for me, my boyfriend is my travel partner. We have the same expectations while traveling and enjoy the same things. He plans amazing trips for us and has such a carefree attitude that we have an incredible time everywhere we go. He has helped me experience so many new things in life, and it’s been great to have him with me on all my travels. We’ve never argued for more than five minutes on a trip, and we both make compromises to ensure we get the most out of our time together. Sometimes we do something he’s interested in, and sometimes we do something I enjoy, but we both appreciate every moment of it. If there’s something I want to do, I make sure to work it into our plans, and vice versa! If he doesn’t want to join in, he’ll find something else to do on his own. We usually don’t give each other material gifts; instead, we prefer to give each other experiences—including trips. Finding someone compatible with you in travel is so important because it makes the whole trip more enjoyable.

If you’re dating someone and haven’t traveled together yet, take a train or car ride somewhere nearby and have a little getaway. It’s a great way to build up to a bigger trip. It’s important to know how each other acts on vacation, what stresses you, what makes you happy, and what you enjoy. It truly is a test of compatibility.

One time, coming back from Asheville, NC, I locked my work computer, phone, and wallet in the rental car and dropped the keys in a dropbox before the office opened. I didn’t realize I had locked everything until after I’d dropped the keys, and since the office opened after my flight would already be gone, I knew I would miss my flight. My boyfriend did everything he could to help, even offering to stay behind with me. I pushed him to get on the flight so he could get home on time, and I figured I’d be fine staying behind alone—no sense in both of us paying extra for a new ticket. The office opened, and I rushed to collect my belongings and made my way back through security. By the time I got to the gate, the plane doors had just shut, and my boyfriend couldn’t delay them any longer. I had to buy another ticket home.

There was a hurricane that canceled other flights, and all the remaining flights were very expensive, so I had no choice but to buy a new one and wait. Luckily, my Capital One Venture card miles covered the entire flight, so it didn’t affect my finances at all. I was able to do some work in the airport instead of taking the day off. My boyfriend landed two hours after takeoff while I had an eight-hour wait and a connecting flight. I managed the situation calmly thanks to his calm, forgiving, and supportive attitude. Instead of getting annoyed, he helped me in every way he could and supported me through the frustrating situation.

Another time, during the same trip, our rental car tire popped. Because we both handled it calmly, we turned what could have been a very stressful situation into a memorable and fun one. It all depends on who you’re with and how you react to situations. To me, having someone like my boyfriend while traveling makes everything so much more fun and enjoyable.

The Best Three Days Came Last

Anthony

Seeing and breathing in a brand new place is something magical to experience with a romantic partner. When you have that special bond, discovering something new that you both love is an amazing feeling. Whether it’s a sunset, a landscape, a new body of water, or a beautiful historic building, the experience is enhanced when you’re with that person. For the most part.

I have only traveled extensively (more than two weeks) with one partner, and it was a constant battle over money. My advice is to discuss finances before setting out. Try to budget how much you will spend each day, how many times you will splurge at a fancy restaurant, and how much you’re willing to spend on trinkets and souvenirs. Then, try not to think about it too much during the actual trip.

We also, unfortunately, fought about sex. He was desperate to have a threesome with someone (literally anyone) from Greece and Italy and spent a large portion of the trip on Grindr. We were walking through the beautiful Sicilian city of Siracusa, with its classic Mediterranean architecture, and he was looking down at his phone.

Needless to say, after the fights about money and sex, we broke up three days before the end of our trip. The last three days turned out to be the best part of the entire three-week journey.

The Best Trip I’ve Ever Been On

Grace

The experience of traveling with a partner really depends on how healthy your relationship is. I went to Peru with my boyfriend for about two weeks, and before that, we hadn’t spent much time together consistently at all. We had the best time, and it brought us so much closer. Sharing new experiences with someone you love is incredibly valuable. That was probably the best trip I’ve ever been on.

Savor Every Moment

Vuk

It seemed like a dream to me, and it still does when I reflect back on the experience. I would recommend savoring every moment.

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Communication Is Everything

Carola

Some couples are happily together 24/7 and never leave each other’s side, while others need more individual space. You may only find out what works for you once you’re on the trip. Be prepared, as you might encounter unexpected challenges if this is something you’ve never tried before. Is it okay for both of you to spend a day apart, doing individual activities? Would that make one of you feel let down? What do you want to take away from the trip—both for yourself and for the relationship? Keep asking these questions and have open conversations to ensure it’s an experience you both enjoy, together and individually. Sometimes, a trip as a couple can make or break a relationship. Communication is everything.

Not in Each Other’s Pockets

Sian

It was great! It meant you always had a companion, could share the cost of things (cooking for one is more expensive than cooking for two!), and you always had someone to watch your back, make sure you were okay, and talk to when you needed to discuss problems. It’s also nice to be able to experience things together.

However, I would say you need to make time for yourselves apart from each other. Go for a drink with the girls, have lunch, or take a walk or go to the gym alone. Spending all your time together can be hard because you might start to get irritated by things you used to love.

I would say it can make or break a relationship. I’ve known many couples who haven’t survived an extended trip together, but that’s usually because they were too insular. Just because you’re traveling together doesn’t mean you should isolate yourselves—make sure you meet other people, talk to the locals, and experience different things. You don’t need to be in each other’s pockets the whole time, as that’s not healthy!

Learning About Us, and Me

Emilie

I traveled alone during my six-month sabbatical. However, in the past, I spent a two-week holiday in Bali with my boyfriend.

I think it’s very personal, and everyone reacts differently, but I learned a lot about our relationship, about him and his anxieties and little fears, and of course a lot about myself.

I consider myself a bit of a control freak; however, I know how to let go sometimes, either to enjoy the experience to the fullest or because I don’t have control over certain things. I’m not a fearless adventurer. I’m pretty cautious. However, I like trying new things.

Let’s take food as an example. In Asia, there are a lot of tiny food trucks and takeaway places (most of the time it’s more a bike truck than a food truck, but you know what I mean). I really wanted to test and taste this food, as, to me, it’s part of the culture and the experience.

Bonds You Wouldn’t Form Otherwise

Alanna

I have only ever traveled short-term while being with a partner. I think traveling with your partner is important. When you experience so many new things together, you form bonds that you wouldn’t have otherwise. It can be stressful and difficult at times, but I believe it helps you learn so much more about one another. All these shared experiences become such special memories.

Must-Dos for Both of Us

Chelsea

My ex and I loved traveling together. He was really great to have on a trip and up for pretty much everything! Whenever there was a long weekend or a holiday, we would take advantage and go somewhere new. We’d do what they call a quick-turn trip (four days or less), which I wouldn’t recommend much to people who aren’t in the airline industry (it’s pretty costly if you don’t have the connections)! We would also plan at least one trip a year that was longer, like one or two weeks. I suggest that having a good plan and laying out your days is key to making the trip successful and as stress-free as possible. We would each do a little research on the location and pick a few things that were our must-dos, so that way both of us stayed happy and didn’t feel like the trip was just about one person. You have to keep the time balanced to each other’s wants and needs during the vacation to keep the peace! Make some time in your schedule for unexpected things too—don’t be so structured that you feel trapped. Lots of fun, random things tend to pop up, so you should be able to go with the flow. Also, be adventurous with activities and food. Don’t let yourself be boring—be bold and try things you wouldn’t normally do back home!

One Week Comfort, One Week Tent

Benny

I traveled with my former boyfriend, and we found out that we had different preferences. For example, he needed much more comfort than I did. He preferred sleeping in hotels (no hostels!) during our trip, but I didn’t want to spend too much money on accommodation. So, we decided to sleep in Airbnbs or hotels for one week and in a tent at a campground the next week, alternating between comfort and adventure. This way, we both had a comfortable and adventurous experience. It’s very important to keep talking about your wishes and to compromise. As long as you’re both a bit flexible, you’ll have a good time together.

Just the Two of Us

Mahta

I genuinely love traveling with my partner. I even love it more when it’s just the two of us and not other couples or people. We are so similar in many ways that we both go with the flow and enjoy our time together. We love exploring and doing spontaneous things that others might not want to do or find interesting. The advice I would give is to be open to what both you and your partner want to do. It’s supposed to be an exciting, fun trip, so do everything in your power to make that happen!

Remember You’re on Vacation Together

Patricia

Traveling with your partner is a great way to learn things about them that you may not have known before. During our first year of dating, we took a week-long vacation to Miami, Florida. I absolutely loved it, as we had some alone time and got to experience new things together. Making memories together is the best feeling. The week flew by, and it was an amazing, carefree vacation. On our second trip together, I noticed we had a few little bickers here and there. This time, we were more comfortable with each other, but nevertheless, I haven’t had a bad experience with my partner. The key to traveling with your significant other is to remember that you’re on vacation together—you’re both there to get away and relax.

Grow Through It Together

Chanel

My partner is an amazing planner, I must admit, so traveling with them is a breeze. I believe traveling can make or break a couple, and I highly recommend traveling with your partner if you’re in a loving and committed relationship! Sometimes traveling is a breeze, and other times there are stressful situations. However, if you can work through those challenges together, I believe it helps you grow and become even closer. It will also make these unique experiences even more special for the two of you.

The Bill Murray Test

Min

I’ve never traveled with a partner (because I rarely get into relationships), so I’ll speak lightly on this. I’ve traveled with my sister and best friends, and I think it’s an amazing way to share an experience. Like Bill Murray said when he crashed a wedding once and gave a toast (you can find this video on YouTube), nothing tests your relationship with someone better than going to an exotic place with another person and seeing how you both get along in a foreign situation.

Land at JFK, Still in Love

Justin

Bill Murray already answered this one: “If you have someone you think is the one, take them and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all over the world, to places that are hard to reach and hard to get out of. And when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”

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