This was the tricky part—they wanted me to move ASAP, and HR was a complete mess since this wasn’t something they did often. My family was really happy for me but obviously upset that I wouldn’t be around daily anymore. When it came to my boyfriend, though, my communication was completely wrong. I told him that I was doing it, and that was it. I didn’t give him the opportunity to express how he felt, and I didn’t work with him to figure out what would be feasible for our relationship. Looking back, he’s a saint for dealing with me through that—especially after he had just moved from England to make our relationship work. A big lesson I learned about moving abroad is that, as much as it’s about you, it’s also about your loved ones. You can’t decide for them how they feel about your move or their choice in it. Have the conversation with an open mind and keep the dialogue going. Don’t just tell them, “I’m doing this, and that’s it.” Take it from me—I learned the hard way, so you don’t have to make the same mistake.
I found the visa process and housing to be the hardest. Although I had my job to lean on for support, I knew nothing about the areas in London or where the best place to live was—and blogs can only tell you so much. So, I reached out to co-workers who helped me find my apartment. Against all advice, I secured it before seeing it in person. Luckily for me, it turned out perfectly. I’m in a great location, and the house is wonderful. Be very careful when looking for a place to live and the process behind it. Read all contracts thoroughly and ask all the necessary questions.
The visa process—KEEP ALL OF YOUR PAPERWORK AND READ EVERYTHING CAREFULLY. Never in my life have I been as organized as I was with my visa documents. If you mess up the paperwork, it can affect other things in the future. Take your time, stick to deadlines, and make a calendar of everything you need to do. Everyone’s process is different, so talk to your lawyer or advisors if you have any questions. Double-check your paperwork before signing anything.
My job has treated me really well through the move, which took a lot of the anxiety out of the financial and job security side of things. Since I didn’t have to worry about that, it left me to worry about friends and fitting in. Most of my first few months were spent making my room and house comfortable. I was alone most of the time, and that eventually started eating me alive. I would turn to my family and boyfriend and take my stress out on them or get upset when they didn’t understand. Luckily, my poor boyfriend had moved overseas too and had felt a lot of the same feelings. He’s been able to help me through it. Although it’s particularly rough for us, I really appreciate the times he’s worked with me to help me through it. My parents have always been there for me, talking me through everything and helping me get back on my feet. This is so important when moving—having a support system. For me, that’s how I thrive, but everyone is different. So, handle it in whatever way works for you.
I’m also an introvert when I don’t know people. I love meeting new people, but it’s very hard for me to just jump out of my house and make a bunch of friends—especially in a country where drinking is the favorite pastime. It’s not for me, so I’ve found comfort in my co-workers, who are absolutely amazing people and friends. I really want to continue branching out, and a big step in that is saying ‘yes’ as much as possible. Whenever someone asks me to do something, I try to agree. I’ve been very lucky to have people in my life who ask me out and help me enjoy my time here.
The first time I came to London, I was terrified to leave my hotel room in some of the clothes I was wearing. As stupid as it sounds, I felt like I stood out from a mile away as an American—and in Europe/UK, I felt like there was a certain stigma surrounding Americans (shocker, there is!). London is one of the most accepting cities in the world—with a huge mix of cultures and styles, you can be whoever you want. Once I got over myself, I felt completely comfortable here. Of course, people will make fun of my accent or how I say certain phrases, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh about it! It makes people like you more, and you can make fun of them right back. British culture thrives on banter.
Language-wise, Europe has been relatively easy as an English speaker, since the majority of countries are bilingual or multilingual. However, to be polite, you should learn some key words and phrases in the native language. This shows respect and that you’re at least making an effort to engage with the culture. Most people are very forgiving when there are communication gaps, and you can always use gestures or rely on someone’s kindness to help. Remember that not only are you representing yourself, but you’re also representing your country. If you’re American, people can often tell right away, and that can create certain expectations or stigmas, so remain patient and polite, regardless of how others might treat you because of language barriers. I’d never let language anxiety stop me from exploring new places!
Banks: use TransferWise to get direct deposits, contactless cards, and to transfer or send money. It’s been a blessing! You don’t need an international number to get the card.
It’s hard to move—but it’s also one of those things where you just have to dive in and learn along the way. But this is your opportunity to travel, learn something new about yourself, reinvent yourself, inspire someone, and inspire yourself. The positives far outweigh the negatives. And the worst thing that can happen is you don’t like it—you can always move home. You’re not a failure; sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay. Just promise you won’t give up until you’ve tried everything you can to be happy.
